21 Hetalia Street
by iiTsuki-Hime
Summary: America and England are spending a day at England's home, and America pulls out the drugs. They go through the five stages of the drugs, causing complete chaos in the backyard. Includes outer space, a battlefield in the movie 300, spells featured in Harry Potter, references to Doctor Who, MLP, Teletubbies, England being a Barbie Girl, and sadly, no sexy-pantsing (unfortunately)


21 Hetalia Street

"I've got all these here… and I don't know what to do with it… wanna smoke it?" America said, poking the pile of drugs.

"Well… I've got nothing better to do with my time today… why not?" England said, grabbing a bag of cocaine and taking it to the kitchen.

-Five Minutes Later-

-Stage 1: The Giggles

"You know… you know what I've always wanted… wanted to say? Heh heh…" England said to America, sitting on top of the refrigerator and giggling like a girl.

"What?" America replied, sitting himself in the kitchen sink and giggling just like England.

"I'm… I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world!" England sang, throwing his arms in the air and nearly falling off the fridge.

-Stage 2: Trippin' Major Ballsack

"Yo! Yo bro! Do you see that? Outside the window? That shit's fucking awesome!" America said, pointing in the direction of the window.

Outside, there was nothing, but America was seeing a whole galaxy of stars.

He and England marveled at the mix of purple, blue, and stars.

"Wanna go out there, man?" America said, his eyes wide and red.

"Hell yeah, bro. That shit looks awesome!" England shouted, not using proper grammar for the first time in his life.

When they stepped outside, the scene turned into a battlefield in ancient Greece, but with a twist. There were wizards battling around them instead of the everyday ancient Greece warriors.

America and England were both wearing wizard's robes, pointy hats, and were holding wands in their hands. They grinned.

-Stage 3: Over Confidence

"You, sir, have betrayed the Pink Pony region of the country of Friendship is Magic by siding with the Centurions, Teletubbies, the Ood, and the Slytheen! Therefore, thee shall die for such treachery! Do you have any last words, runt?" England shouted, pointing his wand, which was really just a stick, at America.

"Pshh! Last words? Never! I shall defeat thee with my companions and take over this land, thus dubbing thy land, 'Awesome,' and this city, in which my victory shall be, shall be dubbed, 'Heroland,' because I will finally free thy citizens from your evil rule! Mark my words, Arthur Kirkland, you shall fall today, if it is the last thing I shall do!" America shouted, aiming his wand at England.

"I see how it is now, Alfred F. Jones! But my willpower and I shall not let you do such a thing, for I am awesome, and you are not worthy of the throne!" England shouted back.

Both growled, circling the back yard.

"Avada Kedavra!"

"Expelliarmus!"

In their eyes, the two spells hit each other, and created a large ball of light in the middle of the two. In real life, there was absolutely nothing, and their faces were screwed up, making them look like they had to go to the bathroom.

"Hey, Anglettere! Oh…" France watched the two throw "spells" at each other. France squinted his eyes.

"Damn bath salts," he said, walking away.

-Stage 4: Fuck Yeah Motherfucker

"Whoo! Damn, that was so fucking cool, man! How the fuck did that happen?" America asked, scratching his head.

"I have no bloody idea…" England replied.

There was an awkward silence between the two.

"That… was… AWESOME! Fuck yeah, mothafucka!" America shouted, jumping up and down with his hands in the air.

"Holy shit, that was so cool! Fuck yes! I've always wanted to fucking be Harry Potter!" England cheered, climbing the tree for some reason. He sat on a thick tree branch and shouted, "I LOVE BEING A WIZARD, 'CAUSE I'M WAY BETTER THAN YOU MUGGLES!"

-Stage 5: Asleepyness

All of a sudden, America stopped and stared blankly at the air. "Hey, bro? Do you… feel kinda… sleepy?" America yawned. He fell straight on his face, sprawled on the ground, snoring.

"Yeah… mum… mummy… Magic Flying Mint Bunny… g-go get my boyfriend and I some tea… M-Mint Bunny…" England mumbled, talking to air. He fell asleep in his position in the tree, still holding the "wand."

-Twenty Minutes Later-

England and America woke up at the same time, confused. They were both trying to remember what had happened before they fell asleep. They were both wearing bed sheets on their back, had sticks in their hands, and had cooking pots on their heads. The small table England set up in the middle of the yard was flipped, his favorite tea set broken into tiny pieces.

America got up, staggering and dusting himself off. England tried to get up as well, but then realized he was in a tree and fell out, landing on his back.

"Ouch…" he grumbled. His eyes widened. "Bloody hell, since when do I sleep in trees?" He said, reaching to rub his head, but there was metal blocking him.

"The hell? A pot? I don't remember ever starting a trend in which I wear a pot on my head…" England mumbled to himself.

"Neither do I… but do I look good in it?" America said, smiling.

"America…" England growled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" America apologized.

"This is all your fault! If you didn't make me take those stupid drugs, my yard wouldn't look like… like… this!" England yelled, getting up, taking the pot off of his head, and gesturing toward his ruined backyard.

"Is that… my favorite tea set? AMERICA!" England turned to America, face as red as a tomato. He picked up a random cricket bat.

"Oh shit," America said, running and jumping the fence.

England followed the running American, hot on his heels constantly swinging the bat.

"I'm sorry, England! Please don't kill me!" America cried, continuing to run down the street.

"I can't make any promises!" England said back, swinging the bat, which missed America by one inch every time.

The two continued to run until they reached the outskirts of London, where England beat the crap out of America.


End file.
